{"product_id":"first-of-all-no-dramatically-sarcastic-keychain","title":"“First of All, NO” Dramatically Sarcastic Keychain","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"149\" data-end=\"278\"\u003eFor the days when life, people, responsibilities, and \u003cem data-start=\"203\" data-end=\"232\"\u003eeveryone breathing near you\u003c\/em\u003e need a friendly reminder: \u003cstrong data-start=\"259\" data-end=\"278\"\u003eabsolutely not.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"280\" data-end=\"519\"\u003eThis bold orange keychain doesn’t just say “no.”\u003cbr data-start=\"328\" data-end=\"331\"\u003eOh no, sweetheart — it delivers it in \u003cem data-start=\"369\" data-end=\"380\"\u003echapters.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"380\" data-end=\"383\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"383\" data-end=\"429\"\u003eFirst of all, NO. Second of all, still no.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"429\" data-end=\"432\"\u003eBecause sometimes one “no” isn’t enough to capture the depth of your soul’s exhaustion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"521\" data-end=\"538\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"521\" data-end=\"536\"\u003e✨ Features:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"539\" data-end=\"813\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"539\" data-end=\"608\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"541\" data-end=\"608\"\u003eLoud enough to speak for you when your patience has left the chat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"609\" data-end=\"665\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"611\" data-end=\"665\"\u003eRetro motel key tag style for maximum dramatic flair\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"666\" data-end=\"727\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"668\" data-end=\"727\"\u003eDurable acrylic, because your sarcasm should last forever\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"728\" data-end=\"813\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"730\" data-end=\"813\"\u003ePerfect for keys, bags, or swinging judgmentally while someone asks you for a favor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"815\" data-end=\"990\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"815\" data-end=\"829\"\u003eIdeal For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"829\" data-end=\"832\"\u003ePeople with boundaries • People who want boundaries • People who pretend to have boundaries but definitely don’t • Anyone who is done for the day… week… year.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"992\" data-end=\"1043\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eA keychain that truly understands your spirit. 💀🧡\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"TheTwinningCandleCo","offers":[{"title":"Orange","offer_id":58479838789713,"sku":null,"price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":58479838822481,"sku":null,"price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Clear","offer_id":58479838855249,"sku":null,"price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray","offer_id":58479838888017,"sku":null,"price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Other","offer_id":58479838920785,"sku":null,"price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink","offer_id":58479838953553,"sku":null,"price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red","offer_id":58479838986321,"sku":null,"price":7.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0575\/7838\/9585\/files\/3839CE9D-CFB1-4AEE-9C55-A811DBF8B4FB.jpg?v=1765560992","url":"https:\/\/thetwinningcandleco.myshopify.com\/products\/first-of-all-no-dramatically-sarcastic-keychain","provider":"TheTwinningCandleCo","version":"1.0","type":"link"}